Reasonable Parenting, Learn about it

In lesson 2 of the Total Transformation CD's I really like how James Lehman mentions that parents should be reasonable in their parenting. Lately I've written on how parents shouldn't renegotiate with their child, but they also shouldn't be so iron clad firm and unreasonable about certain things either. Such as: Your ten-year-old daughter wants to go to a sleep-over and you tell her she's not old enough. That's being unreasonable. The average ten-year-old is potty trained and doesn't suffer from overnight separation anxiety like a six-year-old might. If your ten-year-old can handle going to a sleep-over why would you be opposed to it? Are you just saying no to be in control? It's one thing to want to be in control as a parent because you care, and then there is another thing to want to be in control because you feel like it and can. If you are so controlling and unreasonable I believe your child could harbor grudges against you and become defiant. So don't say no to all play dates when you have a well behaved child. And let your child have some freedom in how they express themselves. Don't be a parent who tells their eleven-year-old daughter that she can't cut her hair because YOU like her long hair. Or that if she cuts her hair she'll look like a boy. Don't be obsessed with controlling your child's looks and what they wear.