Give responsible love and concern to your children

In Lesson 3 in the Total Transformation Program CD James Lehman talks about parents giving responsible love and concern to their children. This is a good topic to cover. You can love your child without loving their behavior. With responsible love and concern you love your child, but still expect them not to cuss, hit or lie to you. How can you teach your child about love if you don't love yourself enough not to let someone mistreat you or treat you like a doormat? Additionally, you shouldn't help a child cover up a wrong. Don't let your child twist love by saying, "If you loved me you would cover up that I did X." No, if they loved YOU they wouldn't put you in that situation. Moreover, it doesn't really help. The more you cover up lying or stealing the more it could occur. They'll expect you to back up their story again and again because you did it before. So don't do it. Tell them about responsible love. That you love them and will teach them how to behave appropriately, but your child is responsible for their actions. Do NOT get into a discussion about this with a child who likes to argue. It won't solve anything. And you both could get frustrated. State it. Explain it. Tell them that's the way it's going to be. Period.